Friday, March 27, 2009

Apartment people.......... ya gotta love em. Or not.

Now that the weather is nicer, the kids and I have been spending a lot more time outside. As soon as I pick them up from daycare Cameron gets his tricycle out and off he goes.It has a little tray on the back, so he is always putting his latest treasures in it. It can be his "race cars", his sippy cup, or rocks, flowers, and toys.
Lexie learned to ride her bike without training wheels two weeks ago and man is she fast on it. I sit out on my patio a.k.a the "terrace". (It sounds a little classier then patio), and I watch them. I read or do my nails, and watch the freak show.
If I go down and sit on the stairs..... That's when the real entertainment starts.
Cast of characters......
Down below and to the left of me lives Mrs. Kravitz a.k.a Susan. She will talk your ear off. She still talks to me when I am heading upstairs and saying "By, gotta go now".
Despite this she is really nice, and loves the kids. I think she is just lonely. She has taken me to do my laundry and gives me food and money to clean her house. Did I mention that she is a hoarder? Well she is.Plus she is a loud, loud, talker. Gives me a headache. Most of the time she will still try to talk to me even when I tell her I am on the phone.
A few doors down from me is "Shelly". Her baby Daddy ran off and left her. She has an 11 month old and one more baby that's due in May. She is so skinny. All you can see is her tiny baby basketball bump.She will run as fast as she can down the stairs. I am afraid that the baby is going to fall out one of these days
.She leaves her trash outside for her baby daddy to come and take it out, but he never shows up. I end up taking it out., and in turn she gives me incense. Seems like a fair trade to me.
Downstairs is Jerry the blind guy. He used to be a lawyer and always orders way to much pizza, He gives his leftovers to the kids.
Upstairs on the end from me is Ricky Bobby and his wife. That's not his real name but it's funnier to say.
He plays irritating Jazz music all day and burns incense. He has so much shit in his apartment. I think he's a hoarder too.He and Mrs. Kravitz would get a long famously.
He paid me 20 bucks to do his disabled wife's nails, but I never did them.Every time I went over there she was either sleeping or didn't want them done.Her loss.
He also drinks beer all day, and for fun he throws his cats over the balcony and into the pool.Yeah he's not so fun when he's drunk.
Finally theres Witchy poo.Or Elvira as some people like to call her.
She is short with long, flowing, purple, black hair. She wears these long moo moo type dresses, and kind of glides when she walks.
She lives right next door to Lisa and Ashley, and is a schizophrenic who's not taking her medication. The girls swear that she sleeps in the bath tub.All she does is chain smoke outside and yell at everyone. Things like kill all the black people, rape Angelina Jolie,repent, repent, repent.Yeah good times.
I held the phone up one night to her window just so Linda could hear her.She is a piece of work.
Her power was turned off three weeks ago, and she's been evicted. I feel kind of bad for her because there should be someone to advocate for her. The cops have been to her door a few times, but there's not much that they can do. She seems harmless, but it's a sad situation.I wonder how she is coping without power for so long, and why no one is helping her.
When I am outside people just chat me up, and I learn all kinds of interesting gossip about things.
Despite all of this, it is a nice complex and I feel much safer then ever before. It's entertaining to say the least.
Wanna come over and have a drink, hang out on my terrace, and watch the freaks roll by with me?

2 comments:

  1. I would feel right at home in your apartment complex because it sounds just like the trailer park I lived in. Never a dull moment! And when it ever is quiet, you know there is fixing to be something big to happen. And the summer is always the most entertaining because everyone likes to hang outside. Good Times!

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  2. I needed that laugh this morning! Thank you. I'd come have a drink with you anytime. Nothing like people watching!

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